Ne-Yo - The Way You Move ft Trey Songz & T-Pain
I miss you already.
It’s only been 20 minutes and I already miss you like crazy. I knew this day would come, but I never knew it would hurt this much. When we said bye and we went our separate ways, I tried holding in my tears because I knew you didn’t want to see me cry. But as soon as I left and I was out of your sight, I couldn’t control it anymore. I just broke down and started crying.
I can’t do anything, but wonder.
I don’t know what I feel right now. I know I should trust you going to prom with her, but I just can’t shake the fact that I am jealous/pissed/sad over this whole thing. It’s just that I’ve heard so much about prom rumors and people constantly talking about prom around me today. And the one rumor that is keeping me on my toes, is that everyone and their dates are going to be staying at a hotel afterwards. Since I never did ask you about the whole prom plans, I can’t stop wondering what could be happening right now or what is going to happen. I mean yeah, you did say you weren’t going to do anything stupid, but it’s really hard to not think about it. I just wish this whole night was over.
Is it even enough?
First, you compared me to *Kristine. Now, you say your mom and your best friend’s mom don’t like me and likes Kristine better. And that they also said you should have chosen her. When you told me that, I literally felt like a piece of shit on the side of the road. How in the world am I going to compete with that? I was already hurting how you compared me to Kristine before, but now that I know that your own mom doesn’t like me has me wondering, “Can this actually work?” Your mom hasn’t even met me yet and already her first impression of me isn’t so great. I have no idea how I am going to change that. You do say none of that matters as long as you know how you feel about me, but I don’t know if that is even enough.
Choked up.
Ever have those times when you have everything bottled up in you, but you just don’t have the right words to say it? Yeah, well it’s like you feel trapped. No one really knows how you feel and it makes you so frustrated. Like you want to kill anything in sight. Then you just think to yourself, why the fuck does it have to be me?
(Source: omgxkevinn, via jeemii)
Honestly, I hold in a lot.
When I’m upset, I really don’t like to tell anyone. Especially the person who made me that way. No matter how much anyone asks, the answer will always be, “I’m fine.” Even if its not true.
(Source: therealphillyz, via jeemii)
I’m not asking for much. I just need time and space to think. I need time to be able to take all this shit in. I need time to be able to accept what is happening. If you want me to feel better, then just give me this time. That’s all I’m asking for. It’s just that simple. But apparently you don’t want to give that to me, apparently you’re getting mad that I’m even asking for some space. You know what? If you want to end it just cause I’m asking for space, then go ahead. I’m not gunna stop you. You’re the one who’s gunna regret it, not me.
You killed me.
What do you expect me to say or do? I told you my opinion about that situation a long time ago. And you agreed you wouldn’t follow though with what you were gunna do. But then we had this big argument that guilted me into letting you do what you want ‘cause I knew I caused you so much pain. I was hurting inside too, but I didn’t let anyone know it. I just put a fake ass smile on my face and have people think that nothing’s bothering me. When you had told me some extra details about the situation, I was so close to having a breakdown, but I tried hiding it by being a little bitchy and try acting like it didn’t bother me. Then you started saying that I didn’t care and some other hurtful shit. That’s when you killed me inside. I was already dying, but at that moment you had killed me.
Just be straight with me.
You tell me that everything is fine, but then why do I feel like it’s not. I know I said I wasn’t able to let go yet, but if the only reason why you’re with me is because you feel sorry for me then just end it now. Because I don’t want to end up looking stupid, thinking everything is fine when really it’s not. I’m gunna end up getting hurt either way, but I’d rather get hurt now than spend two-three months worrying and then end up getting hurt right afterward.
Vent.
I did everything I could to avoid this. I even thought hurting myself would help you. I thought having all those sleepless nights would make you happy. I thought if I had ended it before, everything would have been forgotten and easier for you. But no, you came back and I couldn’t resist. Even though, I did warn you about what could happen, you still decided to stay and risk it. Now that the time has come, you’re mad at me. You’re mad ‘cause I was selfish and that I never showed how much I cared. What you don’t understand is that I did warn you and you still took the chance, now you’re blaming me for all the money, time, and etc. that you had wasted on me. You can’t put all that on me. I was willing to get hurt for you. At the same time, I get your point. You have your needs and that’s understandable. I had let you down. And I also take blame for a small part of it too. I should’ve known better. I should’ve never let this happen. I should’ve stuck to my plan, but I didn’t and now I’m also the one getting hurt. So you can’t let go, ‘cause now that you had me holding me on, it’s going to be hard to just let go.
